By age 10 I had pretty much decided, for a variety of reasons, that I was never going to be a mom! It was as much because of tomboy tendencies, a strong desire to be independent, the desire to travel, and of course, the particular influences of my family of origin. I was REALLY comfortable with my decision, and lived my young adulthood with this clearly known to myself and my boyfriends. Marriage was a pretty low priority, also.
It worked well for me until I met my now ex-husband, and at age 33, we married and had my oldest, now 25! Literally from the moment of his birth (and maybe during pregnancy, also), I was on a mission to be the best mom I could possibly be. When I held Taylor at birth, I knew I was entering the most significant undertaking of my life. My joy and amazement at him as a baby launched me on a journey that inspired me to clean up some of my own residual issues. It also gave me the energy and motivation to seek out the best possible options, every step of the way.
Choosing not to circumcise him, breastfeeding him, reading to him, finding the right nursery school (which I loved so much I wanted to spend the day there myself!), encouraging his innate talent for art, and many other choices and decisions were made from an inspired place. So I, the 'late to motherhood', reluctant mom became a committed, dedicated, and absolutely passionate mom. Fortunately for me, I went on to have 2 more beautiful children, a daughter and son, and today all three are, quite definitely, the 'crown jewels' of my experience here on planet earth!
Although everyone's parenting experience is unique, we also have a lot in common. Truly, it is an endeavor that offers growth, transformation, and enormous opportunity to be living your passion every day.
Showing posts with label choices in parenting infants and toddlers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choices in parenting infants and toddlers. Show all posts
Sunday, August 2, 2009
'Sustainable' Parenting
'Sustainable' means carried out over time. In addition to spanning time, you have the option to make your parenting successful, fulfilling, and effective.
In order to parent well over time (and we all know that parenting doesn't end when they leave for college), your best strategy is to learn and understand your own strategy. Then you have a base from which to be flexible, and that flexibility, combined with self-knowledge, will serve you well. It will enable you to seek out and use varying resources over the years.
Taking control of your own emotions provides a pathway to success in parenting. By control, I do not mean suppressing or repressing emotions. Control means understanding, coupled with effective resources for experiencing your own emotions when it is healthy and productive. For many adults today, this is not an easy task. We are all pretty much trained to seek self-gratification, and seek it soon. Parenthood will derail that usually for a while, but many parents become absorbed in having their child be a status symbol, a possession, an extension of themselves. These are all recipes for failure as a parent. Unless you can set aside your own agenda on a consistent basis, your parenting will suffer.
I call this approach 'sustainable' parenting because it works well, it works over time, it nurtures you and your child, and it has potential to evolve through all the stages and phases of parenting. When you see your parenting as it is, tell the truth, then see it as better than it is, you can raise the standard, and grow yourself as well as make yourself a better parent for your child.
Email and phone support packages to best suit your needs at:
http://www.babyshaman.com/
In order to parent well over time (and we all know that parenting doesn't end when they leave for college), your best strategy is to learn and understand your own strategy. Then you have a base from which to be flexible, and that flexibility, combined with self-knowledge, will serve you well. It will enable you to seek out and use varying resources over the years.
Taking control of your own emotions provides a pathway to success in parenting. By control, I do not mean suppressing or repressing emotions. Control means understanding, coupled with effective resources for experiencing your own emotions when it is healthy and productive. For many adults today, this is not an easy task. We are all pretty much trained to seek self-gratification, and seek it soon. Parenthood will derail that usually for a while, but many parents become absorbed in having their child be a status symbol, a possession, an extension of themselves. These are all recipes for failure as a parent. Unless you can set aside your own agenda on a consistent basis, your parenting will suffer.
I call this approach 'sustainable' parenting because it works well, it works over time, it nurtures you and your child, and it has potential to evolve through all the stages and phases of parenting. When you see your parenting as it is, tell the truth, then see it as better than it is, you can raise the standard, and grow yourself as well as make yourself a better parent for your child.
Email and phone support packages to best suit your needs at:
http://www.babyshaman.com/
Friday, June 12, 2009
What is Responsive Parenting?
My young 2-year old friend, Avery, is consumed for long periods of time (more than 30 minutes) with arranging her tiny animal figures, then 'feeding' them, then putting them in some prone position (often covered by 'blankets') and putting them to sleep, waking them up, asking them if they're hungry...I watch with delight and amazement every time. She is, at age 2, exhibiting fairly sophisticated nurturing and care taking skills. I lament to myself that I know parents who are not as 'equipped' to nurture their children as this very young child already is.
Where does this sensibility, 'instinct', or predisposition to be so caring, so interested in the well-being of another emanate from? How does one very young child already have a level of skill and inclusiveness, so that even when we go about another activity, she still checks back to see how her 'animal' friends are doing?
She has already learned 'responsive parenting', and is very good at it. It has, obviously, been modeled for her since the very beginning of her two years, and it is natural, fun, instinctive, and very beautiful to watch. Observing her 'notice' and accommodate the subtle nuances of a pretend friend wanting a little more water, or to go for a ride, truly gives me hope for our future.
Responsive parenting means viewing your role as parent as a constantly evolving, highly attuned endeavor. Knowing your baby's smallest likes and dislikes, taking a moment to plan an experience so that it is comfortable and secure, and of course, the biggest challenge, learning to put your own 'instant gratification' on hold - these are all steps toward responsive (as well as responsible) parenting.
Where does this sensibility, 'instinct', or predisposition to be so caring, so interested in the well-being of another emanate from? How does one very young child already have a level of skill and inclusiveness, so that even when we go about another activity, she still checks back to see how her 'animal' friends are doing?
She has already learned 'responsive parenting', and is very good at it. It has, obviously, been modeled for her since the very beginning of her two years, and it is natural, fun, instinctive, and very beautiful to watch. Observing her 'notice' and accommodate the subtle nuances of a pretend friend wanting a little more water, or to go for a ride, truly gives me hope for our future.
Responsive parenting means viewing your role as parent as a constantly evolving, highly attuned endeavor. Knowing your baby's smallest likes and dislikes, taking a moment to plan an experience so that it is comfortable and secure, and of course, the biggest challenge, learning to put your own 'instant gratification' on hold - these are all steps toward responsive (as well as responsible) parenting.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Exploding the Myth of the Terrible Twos - There's NO Such Thing
Nothing currently known about babies' and toddlers' development substantiates the currently widespread misconception of "terrible twos". I know that flies in the face of most all parenting "education" in this country. You may want to stop reading right here if you are committed to subscribing to this mis-guided theory. That something suddenly "happens" at this age that precipitates tantrums and unacceptable behavior is just plain false.
Unless you're ready to look at yourself and your parenting objectively, you probably won't like what you're about to read. It is, in fact, your responses to and conditioning of your baby and toddler that lead her to exhibit certain behaviors at age 2. Developmentally for the child, there is individuation and the move toward some independence at this age. Of course, the need for connection and reassurance are also present, as strong as ever. Parents who expect a 2 year old to behave the same as she was behaving at 18 months, or the same as some other child (including sibs), are in for a rude awakening. However, labelling it "terrible twos" and buying into all the generalized misinformation that comes with those terms are sad substitutes for good parenting.
Creating an effective and evolving way to parent the 2 year old would be infinitely more beneficial to the child and parent. This need does not start at age 2, but it can be significantly improved upon at this age. Instead of attaching a worn-out and disempowering label, parents could look for new ways to connect with the emerging independence in their toddler. Creating simple, highly reassuring ways for the sometimes fiercely independent toddler to return to nurturing and supported babyhood would allow the 2 year old to go back and forth between dependence and independence. This, in fact, is what needs to happen in order for individuation to occur.
Unless you're ready to look at yourself and your parenting objectively, you probably won't like what you're about to read. It is, in fact, your responses to and conditioning of your baby and toddler that lead her to exhibit certain behaviors at age 2. Developmentally for the child, there is individuation and the move toward some independence at this age. Of course, the need for connection and reassurance are also present, as strong as ever. Parents who expect a 2 year old to behave the same as she was behaving at 18 months, or the same as some other child (including sibs), are in for a rude awakening. However, labelling it "terrible twos" and buying into all the generalized misinformation that comes with those terms are sad substitutes for good parenting.
Creating an effective and evolving way to parent the 2 year old would be infinitely more beneficial to the child and parent. This need does not start at age 2, but it can be significantly improved upon at this age. Instead of attaching a worn-out and disempowering label, parents could look for new ways to connect with the emerging independence in their toddler. Creating simple, highly reassuring ways for the sometimes fiercely independent toddler to return to nurturing and supported babyhood would allow the 2 year old to go back and forth between dependence and independence. This, in fact, is what needs to happen in order for individuation to occur.
It's amazing how many different ways this simple method can be employed in parenting. If you focus your energy on giving your child exactly what she needs in the present moment (by which I mean attention, not physical objects), you often expedite developmental stages. If you do not attach a dysfuntional label to the reaction you get from your child when you are not offering appropriate attention and care, you may end up getting a lot less challenging behaviors. It was infinitely more pleasant for all involved parenting my 3 now adult kids, who grew up as individuals with different temperaments, styles, and needs.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Experience Yourself As a Great Parent
What's possible for you as a parent?
Have you thought about the options?
Will you access your authentic 'voice' as you evolve and explore?
Do you feel as if you could do better?
Do you feel overwhelmed with all the choices, or with differences with your partner?
How would it feel to experience yourself as a great parent?
What's possible?
I'm offering sample coaching sessions to help you tap into the compelling, irresistible vision you have (even if it's buried!) of yourself as a great parent. Together we will discover some of the qualities that are important to you. I'll help you compile a "mini toolbox" of strategies for accessing these qualities when you feel challenged, overwhelmed, and not in touch with yourself as a great parent.
Free, VERY limited time offer of intro 45 minute sessions now scheduling. Call 303.776.8100 or email babyparentingcoach@gmail.com today
See yourself as a great parent, learn to develop the skills that will take you there.
Ingrid Johnson
The Baby Parenting Coach
303.776.8100
babyparentingcoach.blogspot.com
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Your 'Parenting Style'?
Where did it come from?
How does it evolve?
Why does it matter?
Today the gamut of choices in how to parent your baby range from 'attachment' parenting to turning over your infant to full time childcare at age 6 weeks. Every imaginable variation in between is evident, with stay-at-home dads, nanny-sharing, parents who work from home, grandparents who raise babies, and many other adaptations.
Finding your 'parenting style' can be daunting. Because being a parent is a uniquely multi-layered undertaking, your choices for parenting will affect you, your child, your family, and the rest of us in ways that are difficult to fully comprehend at the start. Some time in the distant future, if you have the opportunity and inclination, you may look back and reflect on the underlying patterns and behaviors you helped create. Most of us are so involved in dealing with the immediate aspects of becoming a parent ("Am I really completely responsible for this tiny, dependent being? I'm scared, overwhelmed, clueless. Why don't I instinctively know what to do? Who left ME in charge?) we seldom fully explore our fears and insecurities that get triggered.
In an ideal world, when contemplating becoming parents, you would set aside plenty of time to spend with friends and family who are parents, experience and explore the different approaches, try on what feels authentic to you, and mindfully, and in complete agreement with your partner, choose what would work best for you. Then when your baby entered the world, you would smoothly and seamlessly implement that plan. Needless to say, that is far from what happens for most of us.
Reality looks more like taking wishes and dreams you have about how you'd like to parent, compressing them into your real lifestyle (you and your partner may or may not agree on key parenting issues, you may have taken a parenting class and resonated with the approach or not, your reading may have offered some interesting options). Some combination of resources and choices land you in the orientation where you start your parenting experience. Throw in the unpredictability of the individual baby's temperament (which may be entirely different than siblings!), and you are in a fairly 'wing it' mode.
You can see how being flexible can greatly increase your odds for success. How comfortable are you with trying something that was not in your original plan? Where do you go for resources to find a different approach, if your current one is not working so well? How do you keep track of what you may want to implement when you are overwhelmed, tired, and stressed?
It's easy to see that an effective 'parenting style' requires both a high degree of flexibility and a keen self-awareness. It's a work in progress, and if your parenting style is not continuously evolving, it probably is not working very well. There are no concrete plans or programs for effectively raising a child. Many valuable resources exist for reference, but your challenge is to manifest your own unique 'parenting style' that is authentic and effective for you, your baby, and your family.
The more clarity you have about your own values and beliefs, your partner's values and beliefs, how they mesh and how they don't, and what your various support mechanisms are, the better you start. With that, ongoing support and flexibility are key.
My intro CD "OMG! I'm A Parent!!" discusses these concepts and others. It's available at my website http://www.babyshaman.com/
http://www.babyshaman.com/
How does it evolve?
Why does it matter?
Today the gamut of choices in how to parent your baby range from 'attachment' parenting to turning over your infant to full time childcare at age 6 weeks. Every imaginable variation in between is evident, with stay-at-home dads, nanny-sharing, parents who work from home, grandparents who raise babies, and many other adaptations.
Finding your 'parenting style' can be daunting. Because being a parent is a uniquely multi-layered undertaking, your choices for parenting will affect you, your child, your family, and the rest of us in ways that are difficult to fully comprehend at the start. Some time in the distant future, if you have the opportunity and inclination, you may look back and reflect on the underlying patterns and behaviors you helped create. Most of us are so involved in dealing with the immediate aspects of becoming a parent ("Am I really completely responsible for this tiny, dependent being? I'm scared, overwhelmed, clueless. Why don't I instinctively know what to do? Who left ME in charge?) we seldom fully explore our fears and insecurities that get triggered.
In an ideal world, when contemplating becoming parents, you would set aside plenty of time to spend with friends and family who are parents, experience and explore the different approaches, try on what feels authentic to you, and mindfully, and in complete agreement with your partner, choose what would work best for you. Then when your baby entered the world, you would smoothly and seamlessly implement that plan. Needless to say, that is far from what happens for most of us.
Reality looks more like taking wishes and dreams you have about how you'd like to parent, compressing them into your real lifestyle (you and your partner may or may not agree on key parenting issues, you may have taken a parenting class and resonated with the approach or not, your reading may have offered some interesting options). Some combination of resources and choices land you in the orientation where you start your parenting experience. Throw in the unpredictability of the individual baby's temperament (which may be entirely different than siblings!), and you are in a fairly 'wing it' mode.
You can see how being flexible can greatly increase your odds for success. How comfortable are you with trying something that was not in your original plan? Where do you go for resources to find a different approach, if your current one is not working so well? How do you keep track of what you may want to implement when you are overwhelmed, tired, and stressed?
It's easy to see that an effective 'parenting style' requires both a high degree of flexibility and a keen self-awareness. It's a work in progress, and if your parenting style is not continuously evolving, it probably is not working very well. There are no concrete plans or programs for effectively raising a child. Many valuable resources exist for reference, but your challenge is to manifest your own unique 'parenting style' that is authentic and effective for you, your baby, and your family.
The more clarity you have about your own values and beliefs, your partner's values and beliefs, how they mesh and how they don't, and what your various support mechanisms are, the better you start. With that, ongoing support and flexibility are key.
My intro CD "OMG! I'm A Parent!!" discusses these concepts and others. It's available at my website http://www.babyshaman.com/
Ongoing individualized support is available by email and phone. Contact me to hear about the 'spring start' special for March.
Ingrid Johnson
303.776.8100
http://www.babyshaman.com/
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Your Baby's Brain
From birth to age 3, profound changes and growth are occurring in your baby's brain. Developmentally, every 3 years is a marked cycle of changes and types of growth. I believe if we all knew what the 0-3 growth was really about, we would be more selective in the environments we create for our babies.
It's a pretty good analogy to say that your baby is like a 'sponge' at these ages, and developmentally, taking in everything in her surroundings is part of the plan. "Pruning" of brain synapses happens, with or without our input. For optimum brain development, reducing or eliminating negative stress for your baby is a huge gift you can give. This means minimizing sensory overload, modulating loud or new experiences, and develping an awareness of what your baby does and doesn't like to be around.
It's documented with 'hard' science now that if a baby's brain is unduly overloaded with stress, there is a cascade of events that result in your baby actually 'shutting down' and learning that the world is a hostile, unfriendly environment. The cumulative effect of these kinds of experiences result in a young child out of touch with her own internal feedback. It sets up young children to be dependent entirely on outside sources for making decisions about what they need and want (easy to see how this can be a precursor to a lifetime of eating disorders, substance abuse, behavioral difficulties, etc.)
Please educate yourself as a parent about the extremely dynamic growth happening in your baby's brain. Your choices in how you interact and the environments that you create for her will shape her lifelong experience.
It's a pretty good analogy to say that your baby is like a 'sponge' at these ages, and developmentally, taking in everything in her surroundings is part of the plan. "Pruning" of brain synapses happens, with or without our input. For optimum brain development, reducing or eliminating negative stress for your baby is a huge gift you can give. This means minimizing sensory overload, modulating loud or new experiences, and develping an awareness of what your baby does and doesn't like to be around.
It's documented with 'hard' science now that if a baby's brain is unduly overloaded with stress, there is a cascade of events that result in your baby actually 'shutting down' and learning that the world is a hostile, unfriendly environment. The cumulative effect of these kinds of experiences result in a young child out of touch with her own internal feedback. It sets up young children to be dependent entirely on outside sources for making decisions about what they need and want (easy to see how this can be a precursor to a lifetime of eating disorders, substance abuse, behavioral difficulties, etc.)
Please educate yourself as a parent about the extremely dynamic growth happening in your baby's brain. Your choices in how you interact and the environments that you create for her will shape her lifelong experience.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Your Baby As Your Mirror
A week from today I'll be at Pharmaca Integrative Pharmacy in South Boulder with parents of babies and toddlers. Our general topic is how to grow as a person while you're parenting. Everyone is invited, Friday at 3 pm or Saturday at 12:30. Please tell your friends who live in the Boulder area.
My CD, "OMG! I'm A Parent!!" will be available for only $15 (no shipping and handling, which is included in the website price).
Understanding ourselves and the patterns and behaviors we bring to parenting is more than valuable - it's an insight into what you will be experiencing in the entire parenting process. The reflection of our most desired, as well as least favorite traits, will invariably be reflected back to us by our children. The sooner that is taken into account, the more choices you have in how to modulate your own behaviors.
Taking time to reflect on where we are on the continuum of self-awareness is time well spent, even in the very early hectic and harried parenting years. As more and more research emerges on baby brain development, it continues to consistenly show that babies brains absorb all that is going on around them. As adults, we have sophisticated strategies in place to be more or less aware of certain things, depending on our orientation. Babies do not have these filters yet, so they are getting everything, conscious and unconscious, to which they are exposed. Keeping that in mind can help motivate parents to examine, edit, and revise their own patterns.
Join us for information and fun-filled time at South Boulder Pharmaca next week!
All your questions and comments are always wecome.
Ingrid Johnson
303.776.8100
babyparentingcoach@gmail.com
babyparentincoach.blogspot.com
www.BabyShaman.com
My CD, "OMG! I'm A Parent!!" will be available for only $15 (no shipping and handling, which is included in the website price).
Understanding ourselves and the patterns and behaviors we bring to parenting is more than valuable - it's an insight into what you will be experiencing in the entire parenting process. The reflection of our most desired, as well as least favorite traits, will invariably be reflected back to us by our children. The sooner that is taken into account, the more choices you have in how to modulate your own behaviors.
Taking time to reflect on where we are on the continuum of self-awareness is time well spent, even in the very early hectic and harried parenting years. As more and more research emerges on baby brain development, it continues to consistenly show that babies brains absorb all that is going on around them. As adults, we have sophisticated strategies in place to be more or less aware of certain things, depending on our orientation. Babies do not have these filters yet, so they are getting everything, conscious and unconscious, to which they are exposed. Keeping that in mind can help motivate parents to examine, edit, and revise their own patterns.
Join us for information and fun-filled time at South Boulder Pharmaca next week!
All your questions and comments are always wecome.
Ingrid Johnson
303.776.8100
babyparentingcoach@gmail.com
babyparentincoach.blogspot.com
www.BabyShaman.com
Monday, December 1, 2008
Fill Your Parenting Toolbox Today
Having the right tools, right away, is an asset in any task we undertake. In the lifelong role as parent, starting out with the right tools is great. And for all the rest of us, assimilating the best possible tools as we go in the process of parenting is a great way to do it, also.
You don't have to attend workshops or travel to weekly sessions in order to assemble your own best set of tools. The key component is learning to trust your innate abilities. Common sense often trumps expert opinion in this vocation. The more you develop your own common sense, and learn to trust your own voice, the more your confidence grows.
As parents today, our vulnerability is ripe for exploiting. Never have there been more choices, and more pressure to enroll in services, purchase products, and participate in information and consumption overload. Parenting has in some cases become a business, preying on parents' fears.
I offer objectivity and support for developing your own cycle of self-reliance. In a collaborative way, we address immediate concerns and then look at overall values and goals that you want to implement. Getting rid of extraneous stuff that is draining your energy is vital at this important stage of your life. Your confidence is your best ally. Clarity and continuity are part of the support system I provide.
Ingrid Johnson
303.776.8100
www.BabyShaman.com
babyparentingcoach@gmail.som
babyparentingcoach.blogspot.com
You don't have to attend workshops or travel to weekly sessions in order to assemble your own best set of tools. The key component is learning to trust your innate abilities. Common sense often trumps expert opinion in this vocation. The more you develop your own common sense, and learn to trust your own voice, the more your confidence grows.
As parents today, our vulnerability is ripe for exploiting. Never have there been more choices, and more pressure to enroll in services, purchase products, and participate in information and consumption overload. Parenting has in some cases become a business, preying on parents' fears.
I offer objectivity and support for developing your own cycle of self-reliance. In a collaborative way, we address immediate concerns and then look at overall values and goals that you want to implement. Getting rid of extraneous stuff that is draining your energy is vital at this important stage of your life. Your confidence is your best ally. Clarity and continuity are part of the support system I provide.
Ingrid Johnson
303.776.8100
www.BabyShaman.com
babyparentingcoach@gmail.som
babyparentingcoach.blogspot.com
Friday, October 17, 2008
Parenting - The 'Irrational' Vocation
If you saw an ad for a position that was exhausting, caused discomfort, took up most of your time, and involved risk (during pregnancy and childbirth), would you be excited about getting into the job?
When you decide to become a parent, you sign up for all that, as well as all the rewarding and heart-warming moments that make up being a parent. The rewards are huge, and so are the challenges. Preparing ahead of time is wonderful, and I encourage you do that. However, the best preparation in the world does not anticipate the unforeseen developments that come with a new baby.
Whether it's a temperament or patterns that are not what you were told about in your parenting class, your baby is almost sure to bring you some unexpected challenges. Also, the predictable pieces can still create stress and discomfort for parents. How you handle this will determine the overall quality of your parenting experience.
Lining up excellent support is a wise decision before your baby is born. Knowing that there is experienced and wise support available is important. Call upon it when you need it.
Ingrid Johnson
THE Baby Parenting Coach
babyparentingcoach@gmail.com
303.776.8100
www.BabyShaman.com
When you decide to become a parent, you sign up for all that, as well as all the rewarding and heart-warming moments that make up being a parent. The rewards are huge, and so are the challenges. Preparing ahead of time is wonderful, and I encourage you do that. However, the best preparation in the world does not anticipate the unforeseen developments that come with a new baby.
Whether it's a temperament or patterns that are not what you were told about in your parenting class, your baby is almost sure to bring you some unexpected challenges. Also, the predictable pieces can still create stress and discomfort for parents. How you handle this will determine the overall quality of your parenting experience.
Lining up excellent support is a wise decision before your baby is born. Knowing that there is experienced and wise support available is important. Call upon it when you need it.
Ingrid Johnson
THE Baby Parenting Coach
babyparentingcoach@gmail.com
303.776.8100
www.BabyShaman.com
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Oh Baby!
Here's a great opportunity to meet me and learn more about the services I offer - The Oh Baby! Baby & Family Expo in Denver on September 27-28.
I'll be there both days, and would love to see you!
If you're in Colorado and have a chance to stop by, please do - Colorado Convention Center in Denver, lots of valuable information, fun, and lots of shopping!
www.ohbabybabyexpo.com
Hope to see you!
Ingrid Johnson
www.BabyShaman.com
303.776.8100
BabyParentingCoach@blogspot.com
I'll be there both days, and would love to see you!
If you're in Colorado and have a chance to stop by, please do - Colorado Convention Center in Denver, lots of valuable information, fun, and lots of shopping!
www.ohbabybabyexpo.com
Hope to see you!
Ingrid Johnson
www.BabyShaman.com
303.776.8100
BabyParentingCoach@blogspot.com
Monday, July 21, 2008
Stress, 'corrosive cortisol', and your baby
Highly recommended book for all parents:
Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby's Brain
by Sue Gerhardt
A highly readable and lively book about the neuroscience, psychology, and biochemistry behind the shaping of your baby's nervous system, this book confirms many important correlations between love and brain development. The chapter on 'Corrosive Cortisol' alone makes the book worth reading. Secure emotional attachment is vital for a lifetime of mental and emotional health.
Persistent powerlessness (the very nature of babyhood) and unrelieved, chronic stress are clearly identified as causes of damage to mental and physical health in babies. The importance of tender, protective parenting cannot be stressed enough. However, many parents are so stressed themselves that offering this type of parenting is challenging, to say the least.
The link between emotional insecurity and cortisol dysfunction is clearly documented. Tuning in emotionally and being available to your child is vitally important. Creating optimum support for yourself as a parent is a wise and powerful choice. Ensure that you are available to your child on this level.
Please contact me at
for details on how I provide coaching by phone and email for busy parents.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Support for New Parents
After all the books, all the advice of family and friends, the job of parenting comes down to you and your partner's choices. Today is an opportunity to look closely at what you most value, where your skills and natural strengths are, along with where you are not necessarily particularly well prepared as a parent.
Even in the very best circumstances, where your own experience being parented was healthy and nurturing, when we stand in our own roles as parents, many challenges appear.
Many of us choose not to repeat all the ways in which we were parented. Inventory needs to be taken, and deciding which familial patterns to continue can be balanced with your own choices for parenting in healthy, loving ways.
As a mentor and guide for the early parenting journey, I offer ongoing support by phone and email. I help you clarify your vision and implement practical strategies.
Personalized parenting education and coaching is a valuable investment in the life of your family.
Look for my new website
www.BabyShaman.com
coming in the next few days!
Ingrid Johnson
303.776.8100
Even in the very best circumstances, where your own experience being parented was healthy and nurturing, when we stand in our own roles as parents, many challenges appear.
Many of us choose not to repeat all the ways in which we were parented. Inventory needs to be taken, and deciding which familial patterns to continue can be balanced with your own choices for parenting in healthy, loving ways.
As a mentor and guide for the early parenting journey, I offer ongoing support by phone and email. I help you clarify your vision and implement practical strategies.
Personalized parenting education and coaching is a valuable investment in the life of your family.
Look for my new website
www.BabyShaman.com
coming in the next few days!
Ingrid Johnson
303.776.8100
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Appreciation
At any age, we all respond positively to appreciation. Listening to an adult describe the rewards of acknoweldging individuals in the workplace, I immediately think back to my experience this week with a delightful 23-month old boy.
My young friend had a somewhat bumpy transition to being a big brother 2 months ago. Still in the baby/toddler stage himself, he had no way of understanding how a baby sister would impact his life.
As I held his baby sister and quieted her (first time Mom and Dad have left her with other than a family member), her big brother repeatedly wound up her musical mobile, brought over baby books, and waited patiently for me to be available.
When we were getting ready to write about today's events in his journal (I'll write more about that later), I looked at him and said, "I'm so proud of you. You did a great job as a big brother," he absolutely beamed. He was so obviously happy to be appreciated, and of course his behaviors are reinforced and will be seen again.
Don't forget to take the time, whatever the age of anyone you interact with today, to acknowledge and appreciate them, right where they are now, just as they are now. It's a powerful gift for us all to give each other.
My young friend had a somewhat bumpy transition to being a big brother 2 months ago. Still in the baby/toddler stage himself, he had no way of understanding how a baby sister would impact his life.
As I held his baby sister and quieted her (first time Mom and Dad have left her with other than a family member), her big brother repeatedly wound up her musical mobile, brought over baby books, and waited patiently for me to be available.
When we were getting ready to write about today's events in his journal (I'll write more about that later), I looked at him and said, "I'm so proud of you. You did a great job as a big brother," he absolutely beamed. He was so obviously happy to be appreciated, and of course his behaviors are reinforced and will be seen again.
Don't forget to take the time, whatever the age of anyone you interact with today, to acknowledge and appreciate them, right where they are now, just as they are now. It's a powerful gift for us all to give each other.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
The Birth of Parents
Create a new paradigm, whether you're choosing and planning a pregnancy, already pregnant, a new parent, or becoming a parent again...
The opportunity to honor and embrace what is, while releasing the past, is a very dynamic and potentially rewarding time. Choose to do it consciously, with a wise and experienced coach, and see life-enhancing results!
Parenting was once simply a repetition of how we ourselves were parented, with few deviations. Today, resources and support abound, and the choices are wide open. Creating your own unique parenting style is not only possible, but potentially great fun and very rewarding.
As you choose to incorporate as much or as little as you desire from you own experience, you also have the opportunity to include any approaches, methods, and systems that you consider to be of value. Synthesizing and implementing your unique approach is an evolving process. Starting to design it before your baby is born has obvious benefits.
The application of conscious parenting choices rather than 'default' behaviors offers parents all the room to discuss and decide in advance on their style of parenting. Working with a skilled coach gives the advantage of creating a well-thought out plan, along with a comprehensive overview of how to implement that plan.
My preliminary interview and questionaires provide the initial framework for your unique plan. Often a valuable clarifying tool for couples (who may not have discussed all the nuances and issues of parenting in advance), this initial process facilitates open ongoing communication.
Engaging parents in an in-depth and thought-provoking assessment of their own parenting values, their combined, agreed-upon approaches, and then synthesizing and implementing that unique approach is a service I provide. Our joint undertaking is the manifestation of your chosen parenting style in a manner that optimally suits your family.
The opportunity to honor and embrace what is, while releasing the past, is a very dynamic and potentially rewarding time. Choose to do it consciously, with a wise and experienced coach, and see life-enhancing results!
Parenting was once simply a repetition of how we ourselves were parented, with few deviations. Today, resources and support abound, and the choices are wide open. Creating your own unique parenting style is not only possible, but potentially great fun and very rewarding.
As you choose to incorporate as much or as little as you desire from you own experience, you also have the opportunity to include any approaches, methods, and systems that you consider to be of value. Synthesizing and implementing your unique approach is an evolving process. Starting to design it before your baby is born has obvious benefits.
The application of conscious parenting choices rather than 'default' behaviors offers parents all the room to discuss and decide in advance on their style of parenting. Working with a skilled coach gives the advantage of creating a well-thought out plan, along with a comprehensive overview of how to implement that plan.
My preliminary interview and questionaires provide the initial framework for your unique plan. Often a valuable clarifying tool for couples (who may not have discussed all the nuances and issues of parenting in advance), this initial process facilitates open ongoing communication.
Engaging parents in an in-depth and thought-provoking assessment of their own parenting values, their combined, agreed-upon approaches, and then synthesizing and implementing that unique approach is a service I provide. Our joint undertaking is the manifestation of your chosen parenting style in a manner that optimally suits your family.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Baby Parenting Coach
The question I hear most frequently from parents of newborns and young babies is, "When is she(he) going to sleep through the night?" Although it's a tantalizing thought, I encourage clients not to focus on when their baby will sleep through the night, but rather on increasing the stretch of sleep their baby is now getting at night.
We tend to overlook the fact that as adults, we wake or go into a much lighter sleep many times during the night. Because we have developed our own methods of self-soothing, often we go right back to sleep without even being aware that we have awakened. Of course, for baby this is new territory. Awakening is not met with an established response of soothing oneself and probably going right back to sleep.
At four to six months of age, your baby needs in the range of 11 1/2 to 14 hours per 24-hour period. By consolidating naps and putting baby to bed earlier for the night, you may establish a consistent routine where baby stays asleep except for one night feeding.
I work with families individually to understand your needs, establish what works for you, and support you in implementing that, along with the adjustments and changes that are needed in the next stages. My initial interview is available by phone or in person, and I have packages of sessions, along with email support, available for parenting questions and issues for 0-3 year olds.
I'm passionate about enhancing your family's experience of living your personal values while having a happy, well-adjusted baby and toddler.
We tend to overlook the fact that as adults, we wake or go into a much lighter sleep many times during the night. Because we have developed our own methods of self-soothing, often we go right back to sleep without even being aware that we have awakened. Of course, for baby this is new territory. Awakening is not met with an established response of soothing oneself and probably going right back to sleep.
At four to six months of age, your baby needs in the range of 11 1/2 to 14 hours per 24-hour period. By consolidating naps and putting baby to bed earlier for the night, you may establish a consistent routine where baby stays asleep except for one night feeding.
I work with families individually to understand your needs, establish what works for you, and support you in implementing that, along with the adjustments and changes that are needed in the next stages. My initial interview is available by phone or in person, and I have packages of sessions, along with email support, available for parenting questions and issues for 0-3 year olds.
I'm passionate about enhancing your family's experience of living your personal values while having a happy, well-adjusted baby and toddler.
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