My young 2-year old friend, Avery, is consumed for long periods of time (more than 30 minutes) with arranging her tiny animal figures, then 'feeding' them, then putting them in some prone position (often covered by 'blankets') and putting them to sleep, waking them up, asking them if they're hungry...I watch with delight and amazement every time. She is, at age 2, exhibiting fairly sophisticated nurturing and care taking skills. I lament to myself that I know parents who are not as 'equipped' to nurture their children as this very young child already is.
Where does this sensibility, 'instinct', or predisposition to be so caring, so interested in the well-being of another emanate from? How does one very young child already have a level of skill and inclusiveness, so that even when we go about another activity, she still checks back to see how her 'animal' friends are doing?
She has already learned 'responsive parenting', and is very good at it. It has, obviously, been modeled for her since the very beginning of her two years, and it is natural, fun, instinctive, and very beautiful to watch. Observing her 'notice' and accommodate the subtle nuances of a pretend friend wanting a little more water, or to go for a ride, truly gives me hope for our future.
Responsive parenting means viewing your role as parent as a constantly evolving, highly attuned endeavor. Knowing your baby's smallest likes and dislikes, taking a moment to plan an experience so that it is comfortable and secure, and of course, the biggest challenge, learning to put your own 'instant gratification' on hold - these are all steps toward responsive (as well as responsible) parenting.
Showing posts with label emotional needs of babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotional needs of babies. Show all posts
Friday, June 12, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Enhancing Baby's Brain Development
These are basic steps for making sure your baby's brain has the opportunity to develop in an optimal way. We know today that the influences begin before birth, and that even subtle things that may not seem important to you affect your baby's brain. The neural pathways are formed for lifelong stress response at this time, so please take the time to understand the responsibility you have.
* Good nutrition in pregnancy is key. Eat the very best diet you can, and of course, refrain from any toxic substances (tobacco, alcohol, etc.)
* Insure your baby's safety and well-being. A dangerous environment or a lack of response to baby's stress create a series of effects that can actually slow brain development. Responding lovingly and consistently to your baby's cries and giving her attention to insure that she does not experience this type of stress.
* Talk to your baby throughout the day, describing what you're seeing, what you're doing. The interaction actually builds brain connections, readies her for language skills, and creates a healthy emotional bond.
* Start reading aloud to your baby as early as possible. In addition to helping brian development of language connections, you spend time together and instill a lifelong love of books.
* Choose high quality childcare. There is a huge range of quality within childcare options, and selecting an environment that is sensitive, loving, and appropriately stimulating will greatly enhance your baby's brain development.
* Get the information and resources you need. Learn about your baby's development, ask questions at check-up time, and find the resources you need. The 0-3 year old time is a unique opportunity to shape your child's entire life by carefully choosing what environment you provide.
* Good nutrition in pregnancy is key. Eat the very best diet you can, and of course, refrain from any toxic substances (tobacco, alcohol, etc.)
* Insure your baby's safety and well-being. A dangerous environment or a lack of response to baby's stress create a series of effects that can actually slow brain development. Responding lovingly and consistently to your baby's cries and giving her attention to insure that she does not experience this type of stress.
* Talk to your baby throughout the day, describing what you're seeing, what you're doing. The interaction actually builds brain connections, readies her for language skills, and creates a healthy emotional bond.
* Start reading aloud to your baby as early as possible. In addition to helping brian development of language connections, you spend time together and instill a lifelong love of books.
* Choose high quality childcare. There is a huge range of quality within childcare options, and selecting an environment that is sensitive, loving, and appropriately stimulating will greatly enhance your baby's brain development.
* Get the information and resources you need. Learn about your baby's development, ask questions at check-up time, and find the resources you need. The 0-3 year old time is a unique opportunity to shape your child's entire life by carefully choosing what environment you provide.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Parental Core Beliefs Shape Your Baby
Beliefs and even suggestions that you entertain constantly impact your baby. It's an ominous responsibility to understand, and it also explains how babies assimilate their view of the world. Is the world hostile or loving? Is the stranger a potential friend or potential threat? Does the new day bring frustration or joy? These any many more subtle variations are programming the subconscious of your baby and young child.
I cannot stress enough the importance of the mother's and father's emotional life, and how they impact the baby's health and well-being. This by no means implies that parents should 'put on a happy face' for their babies. The artificiality does not fool your baby for a moment. The motivation to do something about your own frustrations and challenges, and the compassion and wisdom to integrate your own growth into your parenting is the valuable approach.
Your fears, worries, and anxieties are communicated to your baby without so much as a word being spoken. It's the ultimate inspiration to take action to calm yourself, explore your support options, and consistently apply the principles of growing yourself. In this way, what you project onto your baby will move in the direction of more and more healthy parenting.
Please comment on my blog. I'd appreciate it!
Ingrid Johnson
Pre- & Early Parenting Educator-at-Large
http://www.babyshaman.com/
303.776.8100
I cannot stress enough the importance of the mother's and father's emotional life, and how they impact the baby's health and well-being. This by no means implies that parents should 'put on a happy face' for their babies. The artificiality does not fool your baby for a moment. The motivation to do something about your own frustrations and challenges, and the compassion and wisdom to integrate your own growth into your parenting is the valuable approach.
Your fears, worries, and anxieties are communicated to your baby without so much as a word being spoken. It's the ultimate inspiration to take action to calm yourself, explore your support options, and consistently apply the principles of growing yourself. In this way, what you project onto your baby will move in the direction of more and more healthy parenting.
Please comment on my blog. I'd appreciate it!
Ingrid Johnson
Pre- & Early Parenting Educator-at-Large
http://www.babyshaman.com/
303.776.8100
Monday, February 16, 2009
Powerful Babies
Self-expression in one who is not yet verbal has to assume some other mode. Learning your baby's cues and responding to them effectively can make parenting a much more pleasant experience. For a young baby, responding promptly usually means the physical need of being held (assuming hunger and clothing have already been addressed). If your baby is successful in connecting with you and getting you to act on her behalf, she will have overcome her helplessness.
When we are not able to identify the particular need of our baby in a given moment, we can still validate her choice of how she feels at that moment, and connect with love, affection, and understanding. This is a large part of what being a parent to an infant is about - making yourself available to another who is physically very limited in her ability to take care of her own needs.
There is an enormous amount of misinformation available to parents about 'teaching' babies to comfort themselves. As they get older, children gradually use more words instead of cues or crying. As a parent, it's pure wisdom to understand and encourage this. Your child deserves to be taught that it is okay to express physical and emotional pain. An emotional pattern for her lifetime is created by how you respond to her while she's a baby.
When we are not able to identify the particular need of our baby in a given moment, we can still validate her choice of how she feels at that moment, and connect with love, affection, and understanding. This is a large part of what being a parent to an infant is about - making yourself available to another who is physically very limited in her ability to take care of her own needs.
There is an enormous amount of misinformation available to parents about 'teaching' babies to comfort themselves. As they get older, children gradually use more words instead of cues or crying. As a parent, it's pure wisdom to understand and encourage this. Your child deserves to be taught that it is okay to express physical and emotional pain. An emotional pattern for her lifetime is created by how you respond to her while she's a baby.
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