Sunday, August 8, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Find Your Passion Parenting
By age 10 I had pretty much decided, for a variety of reasons, that I was never going to be a mom! It was as much because of tomboy tendencies, a strong desire to be independent, the desire to travel, and of course, the particular influences of my family of origin. I was REALLY comfortable with my decision, and lived my young adulthood with this clearly known to myself and my boyfriends. Marriage was a pretty low priority, also.
It worked well for me until I met my now ex-husband, and at age 33, we married and had my oldest, now 25! Literally from the moment of his birth (and maybe during pregnancy, also), I was on a mission to be the best mom I could possibly be. When I held Taylor at birth, I knew I was entering the most significant undertaking of my life. My joy and amazement at him as a baby launched me on a journey that inspired me to clean up some of my own residual issues. It also gave me the energy and motivation to seek out the best possible options, every step of the way.
Choosing not to circumcise him, breastfeeding him, reading to him, finding the right nursery school (which I loved so much I wanted to spend the day there myself!), encouraging his innate talent for art, and many other choices and decisions were made from an inspired place. So I, the 'late to motherhood', reluctant mom became a committed, dedicated, and absolutely passionate mom. Fortunately for me, I went on to have 2 more beautiful children, a daughter and son, and today all three are, quite definitely, the 'crown jewels' of my experience here on planet earth!
Although everyone's parenting experience is unique, we also have a lot in common. Truly, it is an endeavor that offers growth, transformation, and enormous opportunity to be living your passion every day.
It worked well for me until I met my now ex-husband, and at age 33, we married and had my oldest, now 25! Literally from the moment of his birth (and maybe during pregnancy, also), I was on a mission to be the best mom I could possibly be. When I held Taylor at birth, I knew I was entering the most significant undertaking of my life. My joy and amazement at him as a baby launched me on a journey that inspired me to clean up some of my own residual issues. It also gave me the energy and motivation to seek out the best possible options, every step of the way.
Choosing not to circumcise him, breastfeeding him, reading to him, finding the right nursery school (which I loved so much I wanted to spend the day there myself!), encouraging his innate talent for art, and many other choices and decisions were made from an inspired place. So I, the 'late to motherhood', reluctant mom became a committed, dedicated, and absolutely passionate mom. Fortunately for me, I went on to have 2 more beautiful children, a daughter and son, and today all three are, quite definitely, the 'crown jewels' of my experience here on planet earth!
Although everyone's parenting experience is unique, we also have a lot in common. Truly, it is an endeavor that offers growth, transformation, and enormous opportunity to be living your passion every day.
'Sustainable' Parenting
'Sustainable' means carried out over time. In addition to spanning time, you have the option to make your parenting successful, fulfilling, and effective.
In order to parent well over time (and we all know that parenting doesn't end when they leave for college), your best strategy is to learn and understand your own strategy. Then you have a base from which to be flexible, and that flexibility, combined with self-knowledge, will serve you well. It will enable you to seek out and use varying resources over the years.
Taking control of your own emotions provides a pathway to success in parenting. By control, I do not mean suppressing or repressing emotions. Control means understanding, coupled with effective resources for experiencing your own emotions when it is healthy and productive. For many adults today, this is not an easy task. We are all pretty much trained to seek self-gratification, and seek it soon. Parenthood will derail that usually for a while, but many parents become absorbed in having their child be a status symbol, a possession, an extension of themselves. These are all recipes for failure as a parent. Unless you can set aside your own agenda on a consistent basis, your parenting will suffer.
I call this approach 'sustainable' parenting because it works well, it works over time, it nurtures you and your child, and it has potential to evolve through all the stages and phases of parenting. When you see your parenting as it is, tell the truth, then see it as better than it is, you can raise the standard, and grow yourself as well as make yourself a better parent for your child.
Email and phone support packages to best suit your needs at:
http://www.babyshaman.com/
In order to parent well over time (and we all know that parenting doesn't end when they leave for college), your best strategy is to learn and understand your own strategy. Then you have a base from which to be flexible, and that flexibility, combined with self-knowledge, will serve you well. It will enable you to seek out and use varying resources over the years.
Taking control of your own emotions provides a pathway to success in parenting. By control, I do not mean suppressing or repressing emotions. Control means understanding, coupled with effective resources for experiencing your own emotions when it is healthy and productive. For many adults today, this is not an easy task. We are all pretty much trained to seek self-gratification, and seek it soon. Parenthood will derail that usually for a while, but many parents become absorbed in having their child be a status symbol, a possession, an extension of themselves. These are all recipes for failure as a parent. Unless you can set aside your own agenda on a consistent basis, your parenting will suffer.
I call this approach 'sustainable' parenting because it works well, it works over time, it nurtures you and your child, and it has potential to evolve through all the stages and phases of parenting. When you see your parenting as it is, tell the truth, then see it as better than it is, you can raise the standard, and grow yourself as well as make yourself a better parent for your child.
Email and phone support packages to best suit your needs at:
http://www.babyshaman.com/
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Creating Self-Directed Behavior in Your Toddler
Developmentally, your toddler is beginning to emerge as an independent little person, also very much in need of reliable connection to you. Finding ways to balance those two factors while remaining responsive and supportive of the developmental changes are the challenges of this period in parenting. Parents who continue to control and orchestrate every event for the toddler are removing an important learning opportunity.
Of course, we adults realize that we are making pretty much all the significant decisions in the toddler's life. However, the many small, daily choices that are present are wonderful windows of learning, if you are aware of them and take advantage of them. The ability to discern preferences, beginning with tiny distinctions, like the degree of darkness in the child's room for sleeping, can set the tone for including the child in decision-making. This grows into more and more participation and input as the child becomes older. Asking for feedback, listening to it, and incorporating it into the daily rhythms are important patterns for the toddler to experience.
Self-directed behavior requires checking in with self first. Toddlerhood is an optimum age at which to model and teach this skill. It has lifelong value, and can be built open at every stage of development. Self-directed behavior precedes other more sophisticated self-modulating techniques that are key to socialization. These skills are valuable for life.
Support for identifying where you are most skilled, as well as areas where you may need help is available to you in individual sessions or convenient packages now available at http://www.babyshaman.com
Don't hesitate to explore the potential of your best possible parenting!
Ingrid Johnson
The Baby Parenting Coach
303.776.8100
Friday, June 12, 2009
What is Responsive Parenting?
My young 2-year old friend, Avery, is consumed for long periods of time (more than 30 minutes) with arranging her tiny animal figures, then 'feeding' them, then putting them in some prone position (often covered by 'blankets') and putting them to sleep, waking them up, asking them if they're hungry...I watch with delight and amazement every time. She is, at age 2, exhibiting fairly sophisticated nurturing and care taking skills. I lament to myself that I know parents who are not as 'equipped' to nurture their children as this very young child already is.
Where does this sensibility, 'instinct', or predisposition to be so caring, so interested in the well-being of another emanate from? How does one very young child already have a level of skill and inclusiveness, so that even when we go about another activity, she still checks back to see how her 'animal' friends are doing?
She has already learned 'responsive parenting', and is very good at it. It has, obviously, been modeled for her since the very beginning of her two years, and it is natural, fun, instinctive, and very beautiful to watch. Observing her 'notice' and accommodate the subtle nuances of a pretend friend wanting a little more water, or to go for a ride, truly gives me hope for our future.
Responsive parenting means viewing your role as parent as a constantly evolving, highly attuned endeavor. Knowing your baby's smallest likes and dislikes, taking a moment to plan an experience so that it is comfortable and secure, and of course, the biggest challenge, learning to put your own 'instant gratification' on hold - these are all steps toward responsive (as well as responsible) parenting.
Where does this sensibility, 'instinct', or predisposition to be so caring, so interested in the well-being of another emanate from? How does one very young child already have a level of skill and inclusiveness, so that even when we go about another activity, she still checks back to see how her 'animal' friends are doing?
She has already learned 'responsive parenting', and is very good at it. It has, obviously, been modeled for her since the very beginning of her two years, and it is natural, fun, instinctive, and very beautiful to watch. Observing her 'notice' and accommodate the subtle nuances of a pretend friend wanting a little more water, or to go for a ride, truly gives me hope for our future.
Responsive parenting means viewing your role as parent as a constantly evolving, highly attuned endeavor. Knowing your baby's smallest likes and dislikes, taking a moment to plan an experience so that it is comfortable and secure, and of course, the biggest challenge, learning to put your own 'instant gratification' on hold - these are all steps toward responsive (as well as responsible) parenting.
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