Creating Self-Directed Behavior in Your Toddler

Developmentally, your toddler is beginning to emerge as an independent little person, also very much in need of reliable connection to you. Finding ways to balance those two factors while remaining responsive and supportive of the developmental changes are the challenges of this period in parenting. Parents who continue to control and orchestrate every event for the toddler are removing an important learning opportunity.

Of course, we adults realize that we are making pretty much all the significant decisions in the toddler's life. However, the many small, daily choices that are present are wonderful windows of learning, if you are aware of them and take advantage of them. The ability to discern preferences, beginning with tiny distinctions, like the degree of darkness in the child's room for sleeping, can set the tone for including the child in decision-making. This grows into more and more participation and input as the child becomes older. Asking for feedback, listening to it, and incorporating it into the daily rhythms are important patterns for the toddler to experience.

Self-directed behavior requires checking in with self first. Toddlerhood is an optimum age at which to model and teach this skill. It has lifelong value, and can be built open at every stage of development. Self-directed behavior precedes other more sophisticated self-modulating techniques that are key to socialization. These skills are valuable for life.

Support for identifying where you are most skilled, as well as areas where you may need help is available to you in individual sessions or convenient packages now available at http://www.babyshaman.com

Don't hesitate to explore the potential of your best possible parenting!

Ingrid Johnson

The Baby Parenting Coach

303.776.8100

Experience Yourself As a Great Parent

What's possible for you as a parent?

Have you thought about the options?

Will you access your authentic 'voice' as you evolve and explore?

Do you feel as if you could do better?

Do you feel overwhelmed with all the choices, or with differences with your partner?

How would it feel to experience yourself as a great parent?

What's possible?

I'm offering sample coaching sessions to help you tap into the compelling, irresistible vision you have (even if it's buried!) of yourself as a great parent. Together we will discover some of the qualities that are important to you. I'll help you compile a "mini toolbox" of strategies for accessing these qualities when you feel challenged, overwhelmed, and not in touch with yourself as a great parent.

Free, VERY limited time offer of intro 45 minute sessions now scheduling. Call 303.776.8100 or email babyparentingcoach@gmail.com today

See yourself as a great parent, learn to develop the skills that will take you there.

Ingrid Johnson

The Baby Parenting Coach

303.776.8100

http://www.babyshaman.com/

babyparentingcoach.blogspot.com

Your 'Parenting Style'?

Where did it come from?


How does it evolve?


Why does it matter?





Today the gamut of choices in how to parent your baby range from 'attachment' parenting to turning over your infant to full time childcare at age 6 weeks. Every imaginable variation in between is evident, with stay-at-home dads, nanny-sharing, parents who work from home, grandparents who raise babies, and many other adaptations.



Finding your 'parenting style' can be daunting. Because being a parent is a uniquely multi-layered undertaking, your choices for parenting will affect you, your child, your family, and the rest of us in ways that are difficult to fully comprehend at the start. Some time in the distant future, if you have the opportunity and inclination, you may look back and reflect on the underlying patterns and behaviors you helped create. Most of us are so involved in dealing with the immediate aspects of becoming a parent ("Am I really completely responsible for this tiny, dependent being? I'm scared, overwhelmed, clueless. Why don't I instinctively know what to do? Who left ME in charge?) we seldom fully explore our fears and insecurities that get triggered.



In an ideal world, when contemplating becoming parents, you would set aside plenty of time to spend with friends and family who are parents, experience and explore the different approaches, try on what feels authentic to you, and mindfully, and in complete agreement with your partner, choose what would work best for you. Then when your baby entered the world, you would smoothly and seamlessly implement that plan. Needless to say, that is far from what happens for most of us.



Reality looks more like taking wishes and dreams you have about how you'd like to parent, compressing them into your real lifestyle (you and your partner may or may not agree on key parenting issues, you may have taken a parenting class and resonated with the approach or not, your reading may have offered some interesting options). Some combination of resources and choices land you in the orientation where you start your parenting experience. Throw in the unpredictability of the individual baby's temperament (which may be entirely different than siblings!), and you are in a fairly 'wing it' mode.



You can see how being flexible can greatly increase your odds for success. How comfortable are you with trying something that was not in your original plan? Where do you go for resources to find a different approach, if your current one is not working so well? How do you keep track of what you may want to implement when you are overwhelmed, tired, and stressed?



It's easy to see that an effective 'parenting style' requires both a high degree of flexibility and a keen self-awareness. It's a work in progress, and if your parenting style is not continuously evolving, it probably is not working very well. There are no concrete plans or programs for effectively raising a child. Many valuable resources exist for reference, but your challenge is to manifest your own unique 'parenting style' that is authentic and effective for you, your baby, and your family.



The more clarity you have about your own values and beliefs, your partner's values and beliefs, how they mesh and how they don't, and what your various support mechanisms are, the better you start. With that, ongoing support and flexibility are key.



My intro CD "OMG! I'm A Parent!!" discusses these concepts and others. It's available at my website http://www.babyshaman.com/

Ongoing individualized support is available by email and phone. Contact me to hear about the 'spring start' special for March.

Ingrid Johnson

303.776.8100

http://www.babyshaman.com/

Your Baby As Your Mirror

A week from today I'll be at Pharmaca Integrative Pharmacy in South Boulder with parents of babies and toddlers. Our general topic is how to grow as a person while you're parenting. Everyone is invited, Friday at 3 pm or Saturday at 12:30. Please tell your friends who live in the Boulder area.

My CD, "OMG! I'm A Parent!!" will be available for only $15 (no shipping and handling, which is included in the website price).

Understanding ourselves and the patterns and behaviors we bring to parenting is more than valuable - it's an insight into what you will be experiencing in the entire parenting process. The reflection of our most desired, as well as least favorite traits, will invariably be reflected back to us by our children. The sooner that is taken into account, the more choices you have in how to modulate your own behaviors.

Taking time to reflect on where we are on the continuum of self-awareness is time well spent, even in the very early hectic and harried parenting years. As more and more research emerges on baby brain development, it continues to consistenly show that babies brains absorb all that is going on around them. As adults, we have sophisticated strategies in place to be more or less aware of certain things, depending on our orientation. Babies do not have these filters yet, so they are getting everything, conscious and unconscious, to which they are exposed. Keeping that in mind can help motivate parents to examine, edit, and revise their own patterns.

Join us for information and fun-filled time at South Boulder Pharmaca next week!
All your questions and comments are always wecome.

Ingrid Johnson
303.776.8100
babyparentingcoach@gmail.com
babyparentincoach.blogspot.com
www.BabyShaman.com

Your Baby, Your Self

As you become a parent and begin to understand the lifelong ramifications, you may also observe opportunities to grow yourself as a person. Our child give us many chances, in many different settings, to observe our own choices of our behaviors and reactions.

Of course, our own child's behaviors trigger us at times. She may exhibit a pattern or habit that we don't like in ourselves. He may somehow remind us of a relative or person we have memories of, and that may be pleasant, joyful, sad, or annoying. Every time such an event comes up, it's a chance to choose what we do.

Many parents revert to the pattern established by their own parenting. Others have studied approaches that may have appealed to them, and are trying to implement those. Some are influenced by friends and peers, others allow their own parenting style to emerge as they meet their baby.

The choices today in parenting styles are many. How do you choose the way that is right for you? What do you do if the way you have chosen isn't working?

How do you best use parenting to grow yourself as a person? The results you experience are very much up to you. Having excellent support increases the chances of the outcome being what you desire.

Ingrid Johnson
THE Baby Parenting Coach
303.776.8100
babyparentingcoach@gmail.com
www.BabyShaman.cmo

Parenting - The 'Irrational' Vocation

If you saw an ad for a position that was exhausting, caused discomfort, took up most of your time, and involved risk (during pregnancy and childbirth), would you be excited about getting into the job?

When you decide to become a parent, you sign up for all that, as well as all the rewarding and heart-warming moments that make up being a parent. The rewards are huge, and so are the challenges. Preparing ahead of time is wonderful, and I encourage you do that. However, the best preparation in the world does not anticipate the unforeseen developments that come with a new baby.

Whether it's a temperament or patterns that are not what you were told about in your parenting class, your baby is almost sure to bring you some unexpected challenges. Also, the predictable pieces can still create stress and discomfort for parents. How you handle this will determine the overall quality of your parenting experience.

Lining up excellent support is a wise decision before your baby is born. Knowing that there is experienced and wise support available is important. Call upon it when you need it.

Ingrid Johnson
THE Baby Parenting Coach
babyparentingcoach@gmail.com
303.776.8100
www.BabyShaman.com

Oh Baby!

Here's a great opportunity to meet me and learn more about the services I offer - The Oh Baby! Baby & Family Expo in Denver on September 27-28.

I'll be there both days, and would love to see you!

If you're in Colorado and have a chance to stop by, please do - Colorado Convention Center in Denver, lots of valuable information, fun, and lots of shopping!

www.ohbabybabyexpo.com


Hope to see you!

Ingrid Johnson
www.BabyShaman.com
303.776.8100
BabyParentingCoach@blogspot.com

Bump Up Your Confidence As a Parent

Use the strong empathic connection of an experienced coach to enhance your parenting experience.

Improve your confidence, focus, and energy as a parent.

Learn to develop your own 'guidance system'.

Ingrid Johnson

www.BabyShaman.com

Rewards of Conscious Parenting

Deciding to use parenting as a journey for growth is indeed a wise choice. The many challenges and lessons that come our way in the various stages of parenting create a rich series of opportunities to look at ourselves in new ways.

Our children, even from their very youngest moments, reflect some of our own qualities and trigger some our our most difficult emotions. While most of us experience great joy and wonder looking at our offspring, it isn't long before some pattern emerges that reminds us of something we haven't quite worked out ourselves. That is the prime moment for growth, if we choose to use it. That is the opportunity to reflect on what is being triggered in ourselves, where it originates, what purpose it serves in our present lives, and the choice to release and go forward, or not.

No one talks much about the incredible opportunity for self-examination and growth in child-rearing. Maybe it's because young parents are exhausted, overwhelmed, and accepting what they've been told about the realities of parenting. Still, in those instances where it is welcomed, we have the chance to look at who we are, how we are, and what we might want to edit out of our own behaviors.

For expert and experienced support in being the parent you want to be, contact me at 303.776.8100
Ingrid Johnson
www.BabyShaman.com

Support for New Parents

After all the books, all the advice of family and friends, the job of parenting comes down to you and your partner's choices. Today is an opportunity to look closely at what you most value, where your skills and natural strengths are, along with where you are not necessarily particularly well prepared as a parent.
Even in the very best circumstances, where your own experience being parented was healthy and nurturing, when we stand in our own roles as parents, many challenges appear.
Many of us choose not to repeat all the ways in which we were parented. Inventory needs to be taken, and deciding which familial patterns to continue can be balanced with your own choices for parenting in healthy, loving ways.
As a mentor and guide for the early parenting journey, I offer ongoing support by phone and email. I help you clarify your vision and implement practical strategies.

Personalized parenting education and coaching is a valuable investment in the life of your family.

Look for my new website

www.BabyShaman.com

coming in the next few days!

Ingrid Johnson
303.776.8100