Monday, February 16, 2009

Powerful Babies

Self-expression in one who is not yet verbal has to assume some other mode. Learning your baby's cues and responding to them effectively can make parenting a much more pleasant experience. For a young baby, responding promptly usually means the physical need of being held (assuming hunger and clothing have already been addressed). If your baby is successful in connecting with you and getting you to act on her behalf, she will have overcome her helplessness.

When we are not able to identify the particular need of our baby in a given moment, we can still validate her choice of how she feels at that moment, and connect with love, affection, and understanding. This is a large part of what being a parent to an infant is about - making yourself available to another who is physically very limited in her ability to take care of her own needs.

There is an enormous amount of misinformation available to parents about 'teaching' babies to comfort themselves. As they get older, children gradually use more words instead of cues or crying. As a parent, it's pure wisdom to understand and encourage this. Your child deserves to be taught that it is okay to express physical and emotional pain. An emotional pattern for her lifetime is created by how you respond to her while she's a baby.

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